Published on April 14, 2004 By Sir Percival In Humor
Percival picked himself up from the mud, shook a bit of it free and, ran off to Bessie's house. His mind was burning. His body was burning. He was in a fit of anxiety. He felt as if his world was about to be taken from him. Bessie, Bessie, Bessie..... Would she be his or, would she be Basil's??

At the same time, he was suddenly a changed pig. Years of pinkness and preening had not prepared himself for a dive back into the primeval habits of his ancestors. Who, I may remind all, were in the habit of wallowing in the mud. But, times change. Pigs change. Generations pass and, wallowing in the mud for odd scraps of food no longer becomes as attractive as it used to be. If you can have your vegetables served up to you, why poke around in the mud for it?

However, when Percival fell into the mud, he felt as if years of pampering had suddenly been cast away and that now, he was a new, toughened pig who could take on all the challenges that the world might throw at him.

Panting, he reached Bessies's house. Evening had fallen by this time and, as he reached her home, he could see the lights in her drawing room. He could hear soft music playing and, the general atmosphere about the house was one of soft romance.

Basil was in the house, with Thyme. Thyme was standing in the background, very deferential, almost invisible. Basil was sitting on a low stool, by Bessie's knee, holding Bessie's trotter in his. They seemed to be intimate. Very intimate.

As Percival saw this through the drawing room window, he felt as if his soul had been snatched from him and, that it was about to fly to heaven. But, all was not lost yet. Or so he imagined.....

With a shriek he burst into the room. The shriek was probably worse than the shriek of the Devil himself. Basil fell over in panic, landed next to the fire place and, singed his bottom. He too, shrieked, albeit a little mildly and, hopped about the room in a fit of agony. Thyme stood rooted to the floor with fear at the sight of the mud splattered, shrieking apparition that was Percival and, Bessie was too shocked to move.

This lucky chance was all that Percival needed and, taking Bessie firmly by the elbow, pulled her firmly into the gardens, whispering words that were maddened with passion. He painted a world where they would live in pomp and glory, a world where they would start a revolution, a world where they would sail the seas forever and become colourful adventurers. The words came out as if they were a river in flood. With all waves and wavelets coalescing with each other and then separating to go their separate ways again.

Anything but a declaration of marriage. Poor, romantic Bessie. She was, at once repelled by this vision and, at the same time attracted. She had no power of her own. And, as Percival heard Basil coming into the gardens, he pulled Bessie into a bush. A bush?? But, it seemed a good idea at that time.

Comments
on Apr 14, 2004
I think this is very interesting what you are doing here. I really like the whimsical aspect of it a lot. Are you writing this as you are (in these small sections) because you would like to get feedback on what you have most recently written, but not the whole project? And I'm always curious about where an interesting idea originated? Was there a single thought or event that got you to thinking about using a pig for a main character? You write very well. And the humor is quite top notch. So keep up the good work. I would like to take a peek at some more.

~MadPoet

P.S. Please feel free to check out my own humorous blog: Friends Of Sir Peter Maxwell Unite!! (Humor section)
on Apr 15, 2004
Hi, Thanks very much indeed. I write in small sections, partially because I do like to get some feedback and also, 'coz I write between or, after work, it can sometimes get a little rushed. I also want to let the project grow on it's own. I don't know yet where it's gona go but, I want Percival to enjoy the ride.

A little history. I originally started this a couple of years ago to hassle an old friend but then, I though this was far too cute to waste on one person. The idea of a pig - partially from 'Animal Farm' and, partially from P G Wodehouse.

I suppose it's also my way of looking at life in a humourous way. And yes, I'll checkout your site as well.